Russell Wilson’s Constipation Training Isn’t Real!

I hate to disappoint you people who took this story seriously, and have been doing their best to not poop, but Russell Wilson, the Denver QB who is not living up to his paycheck, is known to be into training his body.

Just the other day, there was a story about him training on the flight back from his game in London. For 4 hours of the 8 hour flight he was apparently working out.

Well, the story that I hope you're not taking seriously, is a viral troll that appears to be an interview with The Athletic, but that isn't an interview with The Athletic, but that inspires me to make fake interviews as a way to get EgotasticSports on the map, since people don't fact check or google, they just believe what they read.

In the fake interview, Russell Wilson revealed he limits the times he goes "Number 2" because he considers it a waste of time, which it is!

In the fake interview, he says that it is possible to design a diet and fitness routine so your body doesn't create waste. No more pooping.

It goes onto say "I might wear number 2 on my chest, but my goal is to reduce my need to BM to once a week".

The fact this worked, is a reminder, that society is doomed, but the internet is just a wonderful and hilarious place! But the comments are pretty funny, since he's not performing on the field, or off the field, because I guess the backed up feces has to go somewhere, why not into a SUBWAY AD or some losses.

Maybe this is why @DangeRussWilson plays like 🐕💩 https://t.co/E0wJ9gjvys

— Ryan Kanode (@RyanKanode) October 27, 2022

How about his wife Ciara being wholesome: